I planted some bird seed.
A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it
********************
I had amnesia once
---or twice
********************
The easiest way to find something
lost around the house
is to buy a replacement.
********************
Life is sexually transmitted.
********************
I went to San Francisco.
I found someone's heart.
Now what?
********************
Protons have mass?
I didn't even know
they were Catholic.
********************
All I ask
is a chance to prove that money
can't make me happy.
********************
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?
********************
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
********************
If the world were a logical place,
men would be the ones
who ride horses sidesaddle.
********************
What is a "free" gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
********************
They told me I was gullible
and I believed them.
********************
Teach a child to be polite and courteous
in the home and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge
his car onto the freeway.
********************
Experience is the thing you have left
when everything else is gone.
********************
My weight is perfect for my height
--which varies.
********************
I used to be indecisive.
Now I'm not sure.
********************
All of us could take a lesson
from the weather.
It pays no attention
to criticism.
********************
How can there be
self-help "groups"?
********************
If swimming is so good for your figure,
how do you explain whales?
********************
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground,
and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off
*******************
Is it me --
or do buffalo wings
taste like chicken?
********************
