Musical Condom Hits The High Notes

A musical condom designed to play louder and faster as lovers reach a climax is to go on sale in Ukraine.

Grigoriy Chausovsky, from Zaporozhye, said his condoms came fitted with a special sensor that registers when the condom is put on.

It transmits a signal to a miniature speaker in the base of the condom which play a melody.

He told local media: "As the sex becomes more passionate, it registers the increased speed of the movements and plays the melody faster and louder.


http://uk.gizmodo.com/2006/10/03/get_your_rocks_off_with_musica.html

Slow Cooked Squirrel

Have you ever gone to a park or watched squirrels running about looking for nuts and thought there goes some four footed food?

If so then this recipe is for you.

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Slow-Cooked-Squirrel/Detail.aspx

"This stew recipe is for those of us who are hunters and are more of the country ilk. It is easy that you can go to work while it simmers in your pot and when you return home, dinner is ready."

6 servings

Old Brooklynites Understand

© Lionel Martinez

If you ain't from Brooklyn, just forget this; you wouldn't understand.

You're truly from Brooklyn if you can relate to any of the following:

1.Alternate side of the street parking.

2.Ate at Chock Full O' Nuts Shops (date nut bread and powdered
donuts that were crunchy).

3.Ate dinner every Sunday night at Fong Fongs on Church Avenue.

4.Ate Italian food at Collaro's on Coney Island Ave.

5.Bought bobka at the original Ebingers on Flatbush Avenue. Or
Butterbun on Nostrand Ave.

6.Bought Ebinger's Black-Out Cake (and didn't count the calories)

7.Bought knishes from Mrs. Stahls in Brighton, or Ruby the Kinish
Man.

8.Bought knishes on the beach and didn't mind the sand.

9.Bought pickles out of a barrel. The salt made you pucker.

10.Can name all the Brooklyn High Schools. Just try and do that today


11.Don't speak with an accent - everybody else does.

12.Drove over the Marine Park Bridge for a 10-cent toll, and Brooklyn
Battery Tunnel for 35 cents.

13.Everybody knows somebody from the neighborhood, even if it is
your mother's cousin's son-in-law's sister's boyfriend.

14.Got a "Kitchen Sink" at Jahn's.

15.Got a J.D. card and feeling like Al Capone.

16.Had a prom date at the Club Elegante.

17.Had roller skates with keys.

18.Hand ball in the park.

19.Hit two sewers in punch ball.

20.It's not the "shore", its the "beach" idiot.

21.Kings Plaza.... how come we get the crappy mall?

22.Knew who the neighborhood wise guy was, but you'd never tell the
cops.

23.Know that NBC's main production studio is on Avenue M.

24.Know what E.J. Korvettes stands for (Eight Jewish Korean
Veterans).

25.Know what the F.W.I.L. on the Lundy's Restaurant in "The Bay"
stands for (It's the brothers, Frederick, William, Irving and
Louis).

26.Know, or at least your hips do, what a Charlotte Russe is.

27.Owned a pair of pumps from Miles or National's.

28.Played at ( Eddy) Faber's Fascination and Skeeball - saved tickets
for junk.

29.Played hide and go seek at dusk.

30.Played Hit The Penny, Stoop Ball, Skelly, and Potsy.

31.Private beach? What's that?

32.Remember a time when the Greeks didn't own ALL the diners and
the Koreans didn't own ALL fruit stands. Except the Greeks on
Utica and Church, where you just said going to the Greeks for
lunch.

33.Remember Bohack's, Packer's, and Smilen Brothers fruit stand.

34.Remember Coney Island fireworks every Tuesday night in the
summer. Watching from your roof.

35.Remember submarine race watching at Plumb Beach. Heck, if you
even know where Plumb Beach is.

36.Sheepshead Bay is for fishing and seafood.

37.Shopped on Fulton Street and Pitkin Ave. before the mall and all
the dreck.

38.Swear that Grabstein's Deli had the l-e-a-n-e-s-t pastrami.

39.The first bar that you hung out in when you were 15 is "so young
now".

40.There is a bagel bakery a few blocks away.

41.There is at least one pizzeria within 1 block of your house and a
candy store on the corner.

42.Thought "Buddy's Fairyland Kiddie Park" on Utica Ave. was a major
amusement park.

43.Thought going "away to college" means NYU, Pace, or Pratt.

44.Waited for the Good Humor or Bungalow Bar guy to come around
your block.

45.Walked along the Coney Island Boardwalk, with a Shatzkins knish.

46.Washed it down with a Sunny Boy orange drink.

47.Went to a Bar Mitzvah at the Colonial Mansion, sometimes two on a
weekend.

48.Went to Big Daddy's on Coney lsand Avenue as a change from
Nathan's.

49.Went to Brennan and Carr for a double dip roast beef that dripped
all over you.

50.Went to Murray the K rock concerts at the Brooklyn Fox or the
Brooklyn Paramount. Went the night before for good seats.

51.Went to Saturday matinees at the Oriental, Canarsie, Kingsway,
Avalon, Rugby, Sheepshead, Mayfair or Marlboro theaters.

52.You ate at the Horn and Hardart Automat.

53.You can correctly pronounce places like Long I-land, but aren't
exactly sure where it begins.

54.You curse. A lot. Or can at least out curse anyone from anywhere
else.

55.You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "The City."

56.You have no reason to go to Queens, except for Met games.

57.You know and go to the REAL Nathan's - Coney Island.

58.You know someone with mob ties.

59.You know the difference between going with, seeing, fooling around
with and going out with someone.

60.You know what a "johnny pump" is.

61.You love "Welcome Back Kotter" (and not because of the crisp
writing or great acting).

62.You made a scooter from orange crates and an old skate.

63.You made carpet guns that shot old linoleum projectiles.

64.You never realize you have an accent until you leave.

65.You waited for the rides on a truck to come to your neighborhood
for 10 cents a ride.

66.You walk down "The Avenue" and see at least a handful of the
people you knew growing up.

67.Your friends came over to hang out on the stoop.

68.You've had a pigeon crap on your car and/or your head.

AND the most important reason that you are a Brooklynite, or at least
have the soul of one, is You're still angry that the Dodgers left.

YOU DON'T HAVE A PRAYER:

A study of more than 1,800 heart bypass operations shows that praying for the patient has no effect on recovery rates.

In fact, the $2.4 million Harvard Medical School study shows, if the patient knows he's being prayed over, complication rates increased.

It was thought because the patients figured they were in bad shape if they needed prayers.

Thank You For Driving Cafefully

Perhaps it is not a good idea to read a sign too closely while driving.

Guerrilla Gardening

Based in London this blog has a global green guerrilla reach. It has a map page to over 50 international links.

Membership is free, but unlike most blogs there is no way to comment on the blog.

http://www.guerrillagardening.org/

Travelers To Africa, Asia Returning With New Virus

ATLANTA - Travelers to parts of Africa and Asia are returning with a new mosquito-borne virus and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warned on Thursday it could become entrenched in new areas.

Some people returning to Europe, the United States, Canada, Martinique and French Guyana reported cases of Chikungunya fever (CHIKV) in 2006 and large outbreaks have been reported in Indian Ocean islands and in India, according to the report.

The virus first emerged in Tanzania in 1953 and, though no deaths have been recorded, it can cause a debilitating illness whose symptoms include fever, headache, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, muscle and joint pain and rash. No specific drug therapy or vaccine exists to treat it.

"Some risk exists that CHIKV might be introduced into previously nonendemic areas by travelers with viremia, leading to local transmission of the virus," the report said.

It singled out tropical or subtropical areas of the U.S. including the Gulf Coast, Hawaii and the Virgin Islands as particularly at risk.

Here's Looking At You Kid

In the very near future you will be able to securely lock and unlock your cell phone, pay bills by that cell phone and with a single swipe of the phone purchase items like you would with a credit card.

All this will be possible with iris recognition technology in your cell phone.

So what happens in the near future, when your phone recognizes you and decides it doesn’t like you anymore?



On November 6, Oki Electric announced the development of iris recognition technology for camera-equipped mobile phones. Unlike Oki’s previous iris recognition technology that relies on infrared cameras for the iris scan, the new technology uses ordinary cellphone cameras.

With plans to make the technology commercially available in March 2007, Oki hopes to boost the security of cellphone payment systems.

According to Oki, any camera-equipped cellphone or PDA can perform iris recognition once the special software is installed. Identification accuracy is said to be high, with only 1 in 100,000 scans resulting in error, and the system can tell the difference between flesh-and-blood eyes and photographs.

Sources: Nikkei Net, Oki press release

Cats and Dogs

The dog's diary:

7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

The cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while
I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the
furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on
their bed, (or car.....)

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear in their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmm, not working according to plan...

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due
to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how
to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
is obviously a half- wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...

A Different Kind Of Political Humor

Diddly Squat Video

Think you have seen everything when it comes to political humor?
Well you haven't until you watched Diddly Squat and son.

Diddly On YouTube

Pagan Prisoners Get A Day Off On Halloween

In England and Wales, hundreds of Pagans serving prison sentences will be free of their duties during their "holiday" this Tuesday.

Prison Service bosses have instructed their staff to grant the convicts, who include Devil worshippers and Satanists, special privileges during Halloween.

The prisons, which grant these same privileges for all other religions as well, will allow the 282 incarcerated Pagans in England and Wales to use certain religious artifacts like rune stones, flexible twigs and hoodless robes within their cells or communal worship.

Though prisons are allowing inmates to observe their religious holidays in order to avoid being sued by prisoners, some others are outraged at the idea of inmates, much less Pagan ones, being given permission to celebrate.

Secret UFO Bases

The Overlooked News

With the media filled with news with war, politics, and Paris Hilton, it is refreshing when something of note is reported.

Secret UFO Bases Along The Interface Of The Seven Large Tectonic Plates
From the India Daily Technology Team

UFO bases need to be deep under the ground because the UFO crafts need to be close to the mantle of the earth. Servicing of these crafts can be done in that electromagnetic environment only.

For more information: UFO

One Woman New York City Welcoming Committee

Recently this woman has been seen topless, except for large pasties, serenading tourists in the Time Square area with her guitar playing.


Truth be told she is doing this for tips which she puts in her boot. She also takes pictures with tourists for a fee.

The local police know her and just write a report every time she performs.

Welcome to New York!

Survey America - Religion

What surveys say about Americans

Religion

90% believe in divine retribution.

10% believe in the 10 Commandments. (That's one Commandment per person on average)

82% believe in an afterlife.

45% believe in ghosts.

10% of us claim to have seen a ghost. (Not Counting Casper)

49% believe in ESP.

Every 10-year-old kid knows that...

JOHANNESBURG - It's a "factual reality" that beans make you break wind, says South Africa's advertising watchdog.

A TV advert for sweet onions showed a rugby player eating beans that made him smell "stinky." The advert claims that "with sweet onions there are no tears, no burn and definitely no stink."

The country's Dry Bean Producers Organization complained about the advert on the basis that the "stinky" charge was untrue but the Advertising Standards Authority threw out the charge and said it was widely known that beans produce gas.

"It plays on an objectively determinable factual reality which cannot be denied..." the ASA said on its Web site.

Meet Chechnya's Psycho Zookeeper

Did Ramzan assassinate his harshest critic?
Contributed by a Misc-Reports Reader

Prime suspect in the murder of Russian journalis Anna Politkoskaya, other than scary Russian President Putin, is the even scarier Chechnyan
prime minister Ramzan Kadyrov.

Ramzan inherited the position on the death of his father and has
only just turned 30. He manages to combine the
life of a Scorsese gangster with an LA trust fund celebutante - in Grozny.

Little Known Ramzan Facts

* Is best friends with Mike Tyson, now called
Malik Abdul Aziz. Tyson has come to fight at
Ramzan's Grozny boxing club, "Ramzan".
Grozny is covered in posters showing Tyson
and Ramzan together.

* Bought a Siberian tiger cub, because Tyson
used to own one. He also has a lion, a wolf,
a bear and fighting dogs in his private zoo.

* Before cuddling any of his animals, spits
in their faces. To stop them giving him the
evil eye, of course.

* Hung the head of a prominent guerrilla from
a gas pipe, as a warning to would-be rebels.

* Human rights groups say his private army,
The Kadyrovtsky, is responsible for 70% of
all torture, rape, murder and kidnapping.

* Anna Politkovskaya recently claimed she
had video footage of a man identical in
appearance to Ramzan ordering murders and
kidnapping. His army have begun using their
picture phones to record videos of themselves
torturing Chechens.

Bush Sings

The WTF Video Clip Of The Week

The best way to describe this clip is as a surrealistic political video of unknown leanings.

Judge for yourself

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kKN92DASn0

Survey America

What surveys say about Americans

What We Shouldn't be Doing

13% of us admit to occassionally doing our offspring's homework.

91% of us lie regularly.

27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.

Fortune Cookie Fortune

Numbers recommended by a fortune cookie resulted in a lottery win.

When the results began coming in from the 30 March 2005 Powerball drawing, lottery officials suspected fraud was underway.

While there had been only one winner of the $13.8 million jackpot, a record 110 players were claiming second prizes of either $100,000 or $500,000 (depending on whether they'd paid an extra dollar for the Power Play option that multiplies a win) for having matched the first five of the six numbers drawn.

Normally the lottery, which is held across 29 states, pays out only about four or five second-place prizes.

Having 110 claimants of second-place money appeared highly suspect. Yet it turned out there had been no chicanery afoot — the unexpected result had been just the way the cookie crumbled.

The roughly one-in-three-million combination of 22, 28, 32, 33, and 39 had been selected by so many hopeful lotto players because it had been the "lucky numbers" given to them in their fortune cookies.

http://www.snopes.com/luck/cookie.asp

Strange Backwoods Medic

In September, after law enforcement officers in North
Carolina spotted a reportedly stolen ambulance and
chased it through three counties until forcing it into
a ditch north of Greensboro.

Inside, they found the driver to
be mohawk-hairstyled Leon Hollimon Jr., 37, who is not
a medical professional but was wearing a stethoscope
and with latex gloves in his pocket.

Strapped to a gurney in the back was a dead six-point deer, and
according to witnesses an intravenous line was
attached to it and a defibrillator had been used.