Saturday, May 21, 2011

Idle Thoughts

I planted some bird seed.
A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it

I had amnesia once
---or twice

The easiest way to find something 
lost around the house 
is to buy a replacement.
Life is sexually transmitted.

     I went to  San Francisco. 
I found someone's heart. 
Now what?

Protons have mass? 
I didn't even know 
they were Catholic.

All I ask 
is a chance to prove that money 
can't make me happy.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a  
whole  box to start a campfire?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

 If the world were a logical place, 
men would be the ones 
who ride  horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? 
Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible 
and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous 
in the home and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge 
his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left 
when everything else is gone.

My weight is perfect for my height
--which varies.

I used to be indecisive. 
Now I'm not sure.
All of us could take a lesson 
from the weather. 
It pays no attention  
 to  criticism.

How can there be 
self-help "groups"?

If swimming is so good for your figure, 
how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, 
and I'll show you  a  man who can't get his pants off

Is it me --
or do buffalo wings 
taste like chicken?


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Top Twenty Celebrities for 2011

Forbes has released it's top 100 most influential celebrities in America for 2011. 

This year Lady Gaga has overtaken Oprah Winfrey as Number One. 

For the complete 100 list with all the standings go to: 

Top 20

1 Lady Gaga

2 Oprah Winfrey

3 Justin Bieber

4 U2

5 Elton John

6 Tiger Woods

7 Taylor Swift

8 Bon Jovi

9 Simon Cowell

10 LeBron James

11 Angelina Jolie

12 Katy Perry

13 Johnny Depp

14 Kobe Bryant

15 Leonardo Dicaprio

16 Black Eyed Peas

17 Donald Trump

18 Dr. Phil Mcgraw

19 Tyler Perry

20 Paul McCartney

Top 10 Richest Celebrities as Ranked by Forbes

1 Oprah Winfrey $290M

2 U2 $195M

3 Tyler Perry $130M

4 Bon Jovi $125M

5 Jerry Bruckheimer$113M

6 Steven Spielberg $107M

7 Elton John $100M

8 Simon Cowell $90M

9 Lady Gaga $90M

10 James Patterson $84M