Friday, December 28, 2007

Christian Family Gets Wrong Gift From Santa

A Sacramento family got a shocking surprise from Santa this Christmas when they discovered that a Disney Channel CD they got for their three children contained music from The Diplomats rap group album.

According to CBS 13, Jeremy Danielson played the Disney Channel Hits CD for his daughters on Xmas morning (December 25) expecting music from Hannah Montana but was treated to explicit songs containing the "F" word and the "N" word. .

“It was graphic lyrics, real explicit, just stuff you don’t want your kids to hear. We are a Christian family and we don't bring media like that into our house.” said Danielson.

Danielson says he bought the CD from Toys R Us.

Toys R Us claims that it was “the first time they have had this issue and they are only the distributor”. Disney did not return phone calls when contacted.

Full Story and video

Thanks to visibleO

Priests brawl at Bethlehem birthplace of Jesus

Seven people were injured on Thursday when Greek Orthodox and Armenian priests came to blows in a dispute over how to clean the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.

Following the Christmas celebrations, Greek Orthodox priests set up ladders to clean the walls and ceilings of their part of the church, which is built over the site where Jesus Christ is believed to have been born.

But the ladders encroached on space controlled by Armenian priests, according to photographers who said angry words ensued and blows quickly followed.

For a quarter of an hour bearded and robed priests laid into each other with fists, brooms and iron rods while the photographers who had come to take pictures of the annual cleaning ceremony recorded the whole event.

A dozen unarmed Palestinian policemen were sent to try to separate the priests, but two of them were also injured in the unholy melee.

Full Story:

Thanks to VisableO

Sunday, December 16, 2007

MISC Reports Santa Edition


Santa 'sacked for saying ho, ho, ho'

A Father Christmas has hung up his Santa suit after he claiming he's been
sacked for saying "ho, ho, ho!"

John Oakes, 70, says he was fired from a department store in Cairns,
Australia, for using Santa's famous greeting and singing carols.

He claims agency employer Westaff ordered their Santas to say "ha, ha, ha"
instead of "ho, ho, ho" because "ho" is a derogatory US slang word for a

Mr Oakes told the Cairns Post: "After my shift on Monday, I got a call from
my manager telling me my services were no longer required.

"I hadn't done anything wrong so I asked her why, and she said, "You said
ho, ho, ho and that's not appropriate".

"She also said I wasn't supposed to sing, but I was only singing Jingle
Bells to get the kids to laugh for their photo. It's just ridiculous and
everything's changed because of the new rules.'"

US-based Westaff denied the words were a factor in Mr Oakes' case.

Company spokesman Bert Jansz said: "The candidate was not sacked nor was his
use of the term 'ho, ho, ho' a factor in our decision.

"The candidate's attitude was not in line with the requirements of our
client and of their customers."


Santa needs a license

Angry parents in Hungary have formed an association to license local
Santas after complaining they weren't up to scratch.

The Hungarian Santa Foundation has teamed up with Santa Claus workers'
unions to create an exam with strict requirements for people who want to
work as Santas.

And they plan to take legal action against any fake Father Christmases
who try and operate without a Santa licence.

Apart from having to sit the exams - from now on every Hungarian Santa
has to be at least 5ft 7ins tall and in good physical shape.

His voice has to be low, and he has to possess good communication skills,
and he has to convince examiners he likes kids.

Foundation head Gyoergy Balint said: "If a jolly old man with a sack of
presents is found handing out presents amongst kids on the street
without a proper Santa diploma - then he will have to answer in
a court of law.


Letter To Santa


Is Santa Borat's neighbor?

Santa Claus manages to stay hidden all year because he really lives in
Kazakhstan and not the North Pole, according to claims by a team
of Swedish experts.

A special team working for the Swedish logistics and consulting firm
SWECO said it had calculated that Santa's home would have to be
located in a mountain range that lay across the border between
Kazakhstan - Borat's homeland - and Kyrgyzstan to be best
located to make all his deliveries.

They said that based on the Earth's rotation and demographic data - the
Kazakhstan/Kyrgyzstan border mountain range would be the best place for
Father Christmas to set off from on Xmas Eve to deliver all his presents.

The team worked out what the best and quickest route would be - and
found that all roads led not to Rome - or the North Pole - but the remote
mountain region on the Kazakhstan border.

Anders Larsson, consultant at SWECO, said: "It might explain why he's not
seen that often the rest of the year."


Santa Claus should go to the gym, kids say

SPANISH children think Santa Claus is "too fat" and should go on a diet,
and that he should ditch his sleigh for a four-wheel-drive or a motorcycle.

The opinions are based on an internet poll of 4000 children aged four to
12 by children's television channel Jetix.

It said 53 per cent of them thought Father Christmas was "too fat", and 59
per cent believed he should eat better to lose weight, or go to the gym
(19 per cent.)

Many also thought his means of transport was outdated, as a sleigh was
too slow for delivering presents.

A total of 35 per cent thought he should change it for a 4WD and
31 per cent for a motorcycle.

But they were ready to keep at least one Christmas tradition - his big red

Only 21 per cent of them would like him to come down the chimney
in a shirt and jeans.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Unverified News From The Stump

Unverified News From The Stump
By Larry V raving reporter

Under pressure to explain his religious faith to the
American people, Democratic presidential candidate
Barack Obama delivered a forty-five minute speech
today discussing his belief in Oprah Winfrey.

“My religion is a personal matter to me,” Sen. Obama
told his followers. “Having said that, let me make
this clear: I have accepted Oprah as my host.”


Later in the day, Ms. Winfrey toured the state with
Mr. Obama and, in a stunning demonstration of her
influence, briefly caused a solar eclipse.

“Sun and moon, do my bidding!” she roared, raising her
hands above her head and delighting the crowd with the
celestial display.


Davis Logsdon, who studies the interrelation between
politicians, religion and talk-show hosts at the
University of Minnesota, said that Sen. Obama’s
worship of Oprah Winfrey puts him in the mainstream of
American theological belief.

“Over thirty percent of Americans currently define
themselves as Oprahists,” Mr. Logsdon said. “And that
number is higher during sweeps.”


Elsewhere, the CIA created more controversy today by
acknowledging that it accidentally returned several
interrogation tapes to Blockbuster.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

A Jello Practical Joke

Here is an odd email making the rounds. It is a call for an Christmas-time office party practical joke with phony Jell-O.

Here's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party:
A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring.

One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow.

But believe me, from the looks of people who inserted cold masses of gelatinous glop into a mouth that was expecting sweets, the experience is unexplainably horrifying!

Some claimed to be nauseated by the feel of it; others politely swallowed.

Try this a you own risk.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Sympathy greeting cards for your friends and relatives doing hard time.

Terrye Cheathem, a criminal defense lawyer and adviser to the Los
Angeles Sheriff's Department, has developed a line of greeting cards
for a Hallmark-ignored demographic: the recently incarcerated.

Amongher selections are cards reading "Sorry to hear about your arrest,"
and "Honestly, I never knew anyone who was arrested before," and,
simply, "Not You!" A remorseful correspondent could choose: "I know
that I have not visited you. But I still care about you ... When are
you getting out, anyway?"

Card sales are slow, according to an October Los Angeles Times story,
and Cheathem acknowledges that people might prefer to ignore their
connections to criminals.

The Cards:

More Information:

Thanks to Larry V