Sunday, December 16, 2007

MISC Reports Santa Edition


Santa 'sacked for saying ho, ho, ho'

A Father Christmas has hung up his Santa suit after he claiming he's been
sacked for saying "ho, ho, ho!"

John Oakes, 70, says he was fired from a department store in Cairns,
Australia, for using Santa's famous greeting and singing carols.

He claims agency employer Westaff ordered their Santas to say "ha, ha, ha"
instead of "ho, ho, ho" because "ho" is a derogatory US slang word for a

Mr Oakes told the Cairns Post: "After my shift on Monday, I got a call from
my manager telling me my services were no longer required.

"I hadn't done anything wrong so I asked her why, and she said, "You said
ho, ho, ho and that's not appropriate".

"She also said I wasn't supposed to sing, but I was only singing Jingle
Bells to get the kids to laugh for their photo. It's just ridiculous and
everything's changed because of the new rules.'"

US-based Westaff denied the words were a factor in Mr Oakes' case.

Company spokesman Bert Jansz said: "The candidate was not sacked nor was his
use of the term 'ho, ho, ho' a factor in our decision.

"The candidate's attitude was not in line with the requirements of our
client and of their customers."


Santa needs a license

Angry parents in Hungary have formed an association to license local
Santas after complaining they weren't up to scratch.

The Hungarian Santa Foundation has teamed up with Santa Claus workers'
unions to create an exam with strict requirements for people who want to
work as Santas.

And they plan to take legal action against any fake Father Christmases
who try and operate without a Santa licence.

Apart from having to sit the exams - from now on every Hungarian Santa
has to be at least 5ft 7ins tall and in good physical shape.

His voice has to be low, and he has to possess good communication skills,
and he has to convince examiners he likes kids.

Foundation head Gyoergy Balint said: "If a jolly old man with a sack of
presents is found handing out presents amongst kids on the street
without a proper Santa diploma - then he will have to answer in
a court of law.


Letter To Santa


Is Santa Borat's neighbor?

Santa Claus manages to stay hidden all year because he really lives in
Kazakhstan and not the North Pole, according to claims by a team
of Swedish experts.

A special team working for the Swedish logistics and consulting firm
SWECO said it had calculated that Santa's home would have to be
located in a mountain range that lay across the border between
Kazakhstan - Borat's homeland - and Kyrgyzstan to be best
located to make all his deliveries.

They said that based on the Earth's rotation and demographic data - the
Kazakhstan/Kyrgyzstan border mountain range would be the best place for
Father Christmas to set off from on Xmas Eve to deliver all his presents.

The team worked out what the best and quickest route would be - and
found that all roads led not to Rome - or the North Pole - but the remote
mountain region on the Kazakhstan border.

Anders Larsson, consultant at SWECO, said: "It might explain why he's not
seen that often the rest of the year."


Santa Claus should go to the gym, kids say

SPANISH children think Santa Claus is "too fat" and should go on a diet,
and that he should ditch his sleigh for a four-wheel-drive or a motorcycle.

The opinions are based on an internet poll of 4000 children aged four to
12 by children's television channel Jetix.

It said 53 per cent of them thought Father Christmas was "too fat", and 59
per cent believed he should eat better to lose weight, or go to the gym
(19 per cent.)

Many also thought his means of transport was outdated, as a sleigh was
too slow for delivering presents.

A total of 35 per cent thought he should change it for a 4WD and
31 per cent for a motorcycle.

But they were ready to keep at least one Christmas tradition - his big red

Only 21 per cent of them would like him to come down the chimney
in a shirt and jeans.

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