Saturday, May 21, 2011

Idle Thoughts



I planted some bird seed.
A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it

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I had amnesia once
---or twice

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The easiest way to find something 
lost around the house 
is to buy a replacement.
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Life is sexually transmitted.

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     I went to  San Francisco. 
I found someone's heart. 
Now what?

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Protons have mass? 
I didn't even know 
they were Catholic.

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All I ask 
is a chance to prove that money 
can't make me happy.

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a  
whole  box to start a campfire?

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Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

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 If the world were a logical place, 
men would be the ones 
who ride  horses sidesaddle.

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What is a "free" gift? 
Aren't all gifts free?

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They told me I was gullible 
and I believed them.

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Teach a child to be polite and courteous 
in the home and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge 
his car onto the freeway.

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Experience is the thing you have left 
when everything else is gone.

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My weight is perfect for my height
--which varies.

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I used to be indecisive. 
Now I'm not sure.
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All of us could take a lesson 
from the weather. 
It pays no attention  
 to  criticism.

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How can there be 
self-help "groups"?

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If swimming is so good for your figure, 
how do you explain whales?

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Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, 
and I'll show you  a  man who can't get his pants off

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Is it me --
or do buffalo wings 
taste like chicken?

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