Friday, November 03, 2006

Cats and Dogs

The dog's diary:

7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

The cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while
I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on
their bed, (or car.....)

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear in their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmm, not working according to plan...

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due
to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how
to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
is obviously a half- wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...

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