Showing posts with label gadget. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gadget. Show all posts

Monday, June 18, 2007

Things Computers can ONLY do in Movies

Word processors never display a cursor.

You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.

Movie characters never make typing mistakes.

All monitors display inch-high letters.

High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.

Those that don't have graphical interfaces will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

Note: Command line interfaces will give you access to any information you want by simply typing, "ACCESS THE SECRET FILES" on any near-by keyboard.

You can also infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS". (See "Fortress".)

All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer even if it's turned off.

Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. (Really advanced computers will also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.)

All computer panels operate on thousands of volts and have explosive devices underneath their surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash of light, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks and an explosion that causes you to jump backwards.

People typing on a computer can safely turn it off without saving the data.
A hacker is always able to break into the most sensitive computer in the world by guessing the secret password in two tries.

You may bypass "PERMISSION DENIED" message by using the "OVERRIDE" function. (See "Demolition Man".)

Computers only take 2 seconds to boot up instead of the average minutes for desktop PCs and 30 minutes or more for larger systems that can run 24 hours, 365 days a year without a reset.

Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.

When the power plant/missile site/main computer overheats, all control panels will explode shortly before the entire building will.

If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen (See "Clear and Present Danger").

If a disk contains encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you insert it.

Computers can interface with any other computer regardless of the manufacturer or galaxy where it originated. (See "Independence Day".)

Computer disks will work on any computer has a floppy drive and all software is usable on any platforms.

The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it will have (See "Aliens".)

Note: You must be highly trained to operate high-tech computers because the buttons have no labels except for the "SELF-DESTRUCT" button.

Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional active animation, photo-realistic graphics capabilities.

Laptops always have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and performance similar to a CRAY Supercomputer.

Thanks to the Vole

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Get your money on HD-DVD

Back in the 80s when there were two competing video technologies, VHS
triumphed over Betamax largely because Sony, who owned Betamax, refused to
allow their format to be used by the porn industry.

Hence VHS became the industry standard.

There’s a TV format war brewing again - HD DVDs versus Blu-ray.

Sony own Blu-ray and, guess what, they don’t seem to want porn on this
system either, having backed out of a deal with adult film studio Digital
Playground.

HD-DVD is easier to produce anyway so the porn industry is 100% behind
this format.

PS3 uses Blu-ray so there is some hope for Sony but we’re still sticking
our money on HD-DVD.

Contributed by Vonross
http://www.clubofpioneers.com/blog/blog-from-ross-von-burg/16/

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Walk Or Dance Your Way To A Cleaner House


A new pair of shoes have been invented that vacuum as you walk.

These vacuum shoes, which makers Electrolux call the Dustmate, have a tiny rechargeable vacuum inside the base.

The shoes are made of green nylon with a flexible rubber sole and elastic sock to fit any foot making it comfortable to wear.

A spokesman for Electrolux said: "We all have to vacuum our home - this product is designed for busy people who want to keep the housework down to a minimum. Dustmate provides a cleaning solution that doesn't take up any precious free time."

"As you walk, the base of the shoes collect dust on the floor without requiring any effort. It is a simple yet creative cleaning concept."

The designers came up with the invention after asking consumers what they wanted and finding that they were just too busy to spend lots of time doing housework.

The next step would be to make your guests wear these shoes as they walk around your house.